Thursday, April 23

Ashes & dust

I really think I'm losing my passion for running this blog. There's just so much (or so little) going on in my life that I just never have time for it anymore. I have about a hundred things to think about everyday and honestly, my blog just isn't that big of a priority anymore. I've been pretty down lately and I honestly haven't been doing much. I waste my days away by gaming or accessively reading BuzzFeed for hours on end. I wish I still have that spark a few years ago when all I could think about was writing and running this space. I wonder if this is me growing up and being really boring. I don't wanna be a boring old person!

I don't know what's gotten into me but I'm gonna write about the boyf. He works everyday and gets home at 8pm. I miss spending time with him and I feel as if my days don't start till he gets back. But he mostly falls asleep by 10pm (and I understand that, can't blame him). And then there's me staying up all night trying to get some sleep for another boring day of activities. I don't really look forward to waking up by myself with nothing to do for the day. It's kinda depressing. I really wish I lived in the city. I mean sometimes I'm fine with doing nothing in my room but then there are days where I just breakdown cause I am so bored and I have nothing to distract myself with. 

If I should say so myself, I think I've pretty much lost some part of me this year. I'm no longer as outgoing as I used to be, no longer as.. carefree. As of now, all I can think about is organising my work placement and finishing up my last assignment for the year. I don't have anything to get me through the day. I mean there's the 'I look forward to getting my coffee in the morning' thing but even then I have to now steer clear of that so I can go to fucking sleep at night.

I'm frustrated. I'm terribly, terribly frustrated and I have zero idea what to do. And just in case this isn't what you came here for.. here's some pictures I took in Chester.
Ugh I need to stop being so moody and anxious.

32 comments :

  1. awww I think what you are feeling is normal dear! There are times that I feel the same way too like feeling excessively bored and anxious but believe me, it will pass away. Maybe finding a new hobby, reading a book or some inspirations will do? hehehe stay strong dear! :)

    love lots,
    Tin

    mypoeticisolation.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. I'm basically making myself blog just to get myself going and it seems to be working..

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  2. Oh, I think it must be because of the assignment - it's like closing a cycle and then it is hard, with endings and new opportunities... that we don't know which they will be. Frustration and not knowing why to wake up (the Japanese ikigai) are normal, and losing the fun of blogging even more normal :) But I am sure you will pass this phase, it just takes some time - and do take your time. If it lasts for one day or 4 years, it's your time. No one can shake you or tell you what to do. But look, by recognizing this, all you wrote, is the sign that you are changing what you don't like. I really hope yo are fine and if you need a word, count on me. I have been there for some years (my parents died 4 years ago, together. I am too young to be an orphan and I didn't want to wake up anymore, but I found my way again!)
    DenisesPlanet.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you're probably one of the best readers I have. Thank you for your constant word of encouragement. It makes me smile knowing that even though we're complete strangers, you offer me such kind words <3

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  3. Found looks so yummy - I get you somedays I just don't feel up to it.. But I love what I do so when I get a flow I usually write a lot of posts and schedule them

    CANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES

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    Replies
    1. definitely optimising the scheduling thingy now :)

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  4. The meal looks so delicious! Lovely pics:))

    http://fairyland111.blogspot.com/

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  5. With age comes responsibility, that's probably why you feel less carefree!

    xoxo,
    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/ ♥

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  6. Pretty pictures~! Promise you it all will get better :)

    alluringalyssbeauty.blogspot.com

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  7. Hello dear! About blogging I feel the same now days. I can understand you but don't give up, everything will be better.

    Bai, Shiki
    http://beautifuljrockdevil.blogspot.hu

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  8. Sorry to read you are so frustrated with your life right now. Hope things will get better for you soon.
    xox
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

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  9. This happens to me too... Let me know if you figure out the solution :)

    Bella Pummarola

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  10. :( The food looks nice. No worries...life WILL get better. :(

    shinenelevate.blogpsot.co.uk

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  11. Oh, I hope you will feel better soon...
    Cheers!

    Victoria

    http://fashionstylebeautyandmore.blogspot.ca/

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  12. I understand 100% where you are coming from. And everything I am going to tell you you probably already know. But girl you need to find something that makes you excited again. Something that makes you feel like you achieved something during that day. That keeps you busy so that you don't miss your BF all day and that makes you that good kind of tired where you can just fall asleep straight away. I really hope things gets better for you x

    www.daisyperson.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I know. I am trying and I think I'm getting better. I just really wished I lived in a much bigger city because I'm such a city person. I enjoy shopping/going to cafes alone but being where I am, it's not even an option

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  13. I understand this feeling a lot and I often got same thoughts!
    But your blog is really beautiful – you should definitely keep up the good work! :)

    XX, Sara.

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  14. I really hope that things will sort out for you! You should defenitely keep up with the good work, because I love reading your blog. :)

    Sara Wallflower

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  15. Oh dear, pls don't lose your interest in blogging as you're doing relatively well. Take a break or go for a short trip to recharge, Annick. It helps :D

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  16. Like the last photo :) M&MFASHIONBITES mmfashionbites.blogspot.gr
    Maria V.

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  17. Yummy !! I'm hungry now, lol ^^

    Follow me now on GFC and/or Instagram ( @hekyma ), I always follow back.
    WWW.HEKYMA.COM

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  18. nice post, delicious :) Greetings

    http://moje-kreacje.blogspot.com/

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  19. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way, and I hope you figure things out soon. I know life can be complicated, but if it makes you feel any better, I think your blog is adorable! The food here looks delish....especially the mussels! Great shots :)

    xoxo
    Chic Dream Jar

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    Replies
    1. thanks for the adorably compliment! big hugs!

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  20. So are you not going to blog anymore?

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  21. Oh I'm so sorry to read about that, hope you gonna be better (and back really soon!)
    I had the same doubts regarding my blog, now I'm living in London and don't really have time/photographer... but then I realized it was just a pity to let it go just because of some lazyness and there is nothing more motivating than reading your followers' comments :)
    Hope it will help you!

    See you Annick xx

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    Replies
    1. that was exactly what I thought! I took two weeks off without thinking about it and then it dawned upon me that I have been so proud of all things Ive done here. I mean I scored two internships because of my beloved blog.. so i'm definitely back and probably with a better outlook x

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  22. Ohh now I'm hungry!!! Beautiful photos of nhamy food :) In the meanwhile, what do you think of following each other, maybe inspire each other? Please let me know! Kisses and have an amazing week! :)

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