Thursday, August 14

Need positivity / Help

I haven't been the best lately. I've disappointed myself and I've upset a lot of people. Summer has yet again.. became terrible. I'm sorry baby. I wish I could take it all back.

Since I got back, as you lovelies know, I've struggle with my appearance. I hated myself and how I looked. It gave me really bad mood swings and really little body confidence. I'm hurting myself and I wish I had my good thoughts again. I'm tiring myself out worrying about my looks. I'm hurting and I need help because I don't know how to stop criticizing and hating myself.

My worst, worst thoughts came and hit me like a tidal wave. I'm struggling so much on the inside cause I'm so disappointed in myself. There's so much hate and resentment, I wish I could bury my head on the pillow and never wake up. I always had issues and I've always fought it. It disappeared for a long while but with everything.. it's coming back. I want to cut and hurt myself physically. I want to starve. I want to be thin. I want to be me again. I want to say I'm sorry baby. I'm really sorry.

I'm trying to be better. I will try to be better.
I'll come back and post happy things again cause I need positivity right now. I'll be focusing on the twins and working on myself again but I need support. I'll write again soon, brb x

Spamming my own post with gentle, good encouragements to me and to anyone who needs it.


*

Edits: I wish I was prettier, taller, smarter and more talented but I'm just boring little-me. Now, even the boring little-me has gone a little haywire :/ I want to sleep and never be awaken so I could live in my dreams. Reality hurts me and I hurt reality.. I need to paint again. Or write more of my thoughts down. I really want to paint right now and not feel but concentrate on the lines that I'm creating. *sigh* I need to fix myself and get better soon..

How could I feel lonely when I'm in a room full of people?

PS: Sorry for this gloomy post guys

36 comments :

  1. girl , i have been through extremely bad phase in lifr that two 2ice, believe me hurting yourself is nt the solution
    you need just one moment , think that ur brave , no problum can break you
    hope you feel better soon
    kisses,
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com
    www.indianbeautydiary.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. right now, i'm struggling. its so easy to be defeated.. to feel defeated. it's so tiring to fight and have good thoughts. but thank you :)

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  2. Dont't worry darling... think positive!!! I hope you feel better soon!!!
    Ciao bellissima!!!
    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  3. You're beautiful as you are. Don't hurt yourself, it isn't the best option. I know that feeling when you hate yourself because of your looks. Most of time I feel the same way - fat and ugly. I look at my friends, and they're just so too beautiful, I feel so not in the place. But I try to look for beauty in me. I try to live positively, because I know, that I'm beautiful in my own way. And I try to believe it. We can get through that. And in my opinion, you're beautiful, just believe in yourself ;)
    Hope you'll feel better about yourself soon.:)
    Muilo Burbulai

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for the kind words. i'm trying, i really am. but to constantly be compared to and to feel worthless.. it really hurts and pains me. and in my head, i see all of my flaws and only my flaws.. its such a struggle.. but thank you too x

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  4. Oh hun, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time... I can completely understand your feelings, and I've been struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm, and low self-esteem for years now. But I think something that really helped me when I felt low was to write a mid-year summary, going from January to now, and seeing how far I'd come in half a year. That might help if you feel bad right now... Whatever's happening will pass, and try and stay strong and get through this tough time as best you can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this used to be that place. and twitter too. i'm using my social mediums as my space again. i know it'll pass in a matter of time because i've been through this. but it pains me so much to have these thoughts again. they hurt more than it first did. it tells me that i'm weak again.. that my mind isn't strong enough. i will try my best tho because i know i need to. thank you so much.. xx

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  5. You're perfect just the way you are! Be strong and stay true to yourself, things will definitely look up for you :) Speaking out about it is actually really inspirational in itself- keep your head up beautiful :) xx

    www.junkjournal100.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much for the kind words. I will try to be strong and overcome this as I have before :) thank you x

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  6. I hope you realize that you're great, funny and beautiful.
    I hope you realize that your blog helps people out, brightens their days.
    I hope you realize that you don't have to be the best to be your best self.
    I hope you realize being perfect is not necessary.

    xoxo,
    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/ ♥

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  7. You are so young and beautiful, i believe everything will be alright!
    ritaaflyatunova.blogspot.com

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  8. You are beautiful and clever, please remember that we fellow bloggers are here if you need us ... it will get better in time as I have felt like this too... sending you hugs.

    Camille xo

    www.cococami.blogspot.co.uk

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  9. It's so terrible you feel that way inside because you're so gorgeous on the outside! Just focus on what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place. Stay strong my fellow blogger! xo, Hayley www.dailydoseofdarling.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i am trying really hard.. but thank you for the kind words x

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  10. everything happens for a reason dear.
    never lose faith and confidence in yourself.
    never give up and don't let anything, or anyone, pull you down.
    you are gorgeous, you really are, don't ever think that you are not okay?


    Ms. Kei

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  11. Annick :) Awwee I dont think you are boring at all and how could you say that you're not pretty and thin? You are special in your own way and im sure anybody who really cares and loves you , dont mind. I envy you like so much . You are beautiful , having a beautiful heart and body too . Dont hurt yourself for others who dont appreciate you in any ways. Love yourself like they always say tho it doesnt really help but hey we love you :))

    Xoxo
    Alice ♥

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    Replies
    1. hey alicia, thank you so much. this meant a lot xx

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  12. I guess we all doubt ourselves from time to time. I hope at the end of the day, you know you are unique and wonderful in your own ways. No one can be as special as Annick.

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  13. Everyone has a quality that makes them unique and special. Don't ever tell yourself that you're boring! Find out what makes you, you and flaunt it like a boss!

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  14. Darling I understand you completely and I'm sure there is many girls out there who feels this way right now ! You just have to stay strong because those bad moods will go away :) Turn on your favorite music (make sure it doesn't remind you of anyone special) sing and dance along with it. You are beautiful and one day you'll realize that too. Writing this is so hard because I feel exactly the way you do but I just know one day sun will shine the brightest as it can for us too ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yea, distractions help.. i know. i'm focusing as best i can on other things i used to enjoy doing. thank you and i hope you'll feel better too.

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  15. I'm so sorry for you, I know perfectly what it means. I hope a sunny day will help you get a little bit out. In the meanwhile, if you don't worry, I'll say a pray for you :)

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  16. So sorry that you have such difficulties at the moment ... wish you that you will see latest afterwards that you are perfect in the way you are!

    xx from Germany/Bavaria, Rena

    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much.. i'll be alright again xx

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  17. Grate!
    http://afinaskaterblogspotcom.blogspot.ru/

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