I don't know where to begin, or how long that I've held off on this post. I'm afraid to write about it.. because no matter how I word it, you will never know what I felt in that instance. It has been a whirlwind, yes. But does it matter? I have always been judged, and in truth, I am actually sensitive. And jealousy takes over me. It's not over petty matters, trust me.
I always only get jealous by people who are happy. I can't stand seeing happiness all around me when I'm always in my bubble of misery. Call it self-brought or self-inflicted, I would very much like to be wrong and wish desperately that someone could take it all away.
And yes, this blog is back to being a personal one with maybe just a few posts every now and then that would please readers. I have forgotten my basic rule of blogging, which is for myself. I've lost readers, I know.. but there really isn't anything that I can do, do I? I want people to read because they find interest in my life, not because I merely post up shit that would please them. If you're one of the rares that still reads my blog these days, I sincerely thank you for spending time to hearing to what I have to say :)